Sit down pee

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Photo via Flickr user digitonin. The relevant case was a minor property dispute about whether a landlord should be able to keep his renter's security deposit over piss stains on his marble bathroom floor. But the fact that the landlord appeared to view his tenant's standing urination as a barbaric habit, and the fact that the judge referred to the now-protected position as a formerly dominant custom was telling.

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Standing up to pee is one of the greatest gifts granted to men. However recent cultural trends have given rise to a sweeping epidemic causing more and more men to sit while peeing. The last reported data on the issue from suggested that a whopping 42 per cent of married men sat down to pee, most likely to avoid seat drips and the wrath of their fuming wives.

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Some people think men choose to sit down when they pee. But I always knew I was a sit-down pee-er—even when I peed standing up. In retrospect, the signs were obvious: I binged on video games as a kid, which offer few intermissions for relief; I wore sweat-pants, which make it easy to masturbate but difficult to pee; I was uncircumcised; I played youth soccer on a no-cut team. Soon we switched from dial-up to DSL.

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For the last few years I now find it much more comfortable and better for me when I pee sitting down. Anyway I digress. Okay, that is the most obvious benefit, but a huge benefit for all concerned.

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According to leaked information from household staffRyan Gosling likes to pee sitting down. Of all the misdemeanours that his maid could have squawked about to the press, this could well be the most damaging. Hollywood's leading ladies' man goes to the toilet like a woman!

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Scientists are not exactly sure what causes benign prostate hypertrophy, or an enlarged prostate gland, but the likelihood of having one increases with age. Hormones have something to do with it, as men who had their testicles removed at a young age due to cancer do not have these problems, research shows, and when men with enlarged prostates have their testicles removed, their prostates tend to shrink. The good news is that an enlarged prostate is thought to be a natural part of aging and not necessarily a precursor to prostate cancer.

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Make no mistake, it's a goddamn privilege to be able to stand up, unzip, and relieve yourself in disgusting dive bar bathrooms, concerts, and long car rides when all you've got is an empty soda bottle and no shame. But are dudes also overlooking the advantages of sitting down for a minute to take a leak? It's possible.

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Which, sure, is normal. Pee sitting down? Men are weirdly defensive about peeing sitting down.

Comments

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